Misery
by Just want to survive
Summary: Another teden one shot. Takes place during Champion, before Tess got the plague. Tess finds out about Kaede's death. A scene we didn't get to see in Champion with a teden twist. Rated k for angst-ish stuff. Warning: probably very ooc, and horridly uncannon. You have been warned.


"I'll come back" she said, as she turned around to face me.

"Aren't you the one always telling me to never make promises I can't keep?" I clench my fists, and look down, squeezing my eyes shut. Everyone is leaving me. She gives a sad smile "Tess…" she doesn't finnish.

"Be safe Kaede" Pascao calls from behind me. He doesn't understand, none of them do. She's going alone, into a country where she's not welcome. And how will they even get back? What if they don't? I sniff, and turn around. More importantly, she's leaving us. She's leaving _me._ These guys are the only people I have left in the world. I can't lose any of them. Especially Kaede. She's the one who took me in, and has completely flipped my life and views in the time I knew her. She can't just leave.

"They'll be fine" I say again, because they will.

"They need to know about Razor" She tries to get me to look at her. It doesn't work.

"No they don't" I'm crying now. And I don't even know half of the reasons why. I remember everything she told me about not worrying so much. I sigh, and remind myself that Day could die, which shouldn't matter to me anymore, but it does. So I shake my head a final time, and let her turn me back around to face her.

"You better come back" I look up at her.

She smiles.

"Of course I will" She pulls me into a hug. I smile despite myself. I just stand there, savoring this moment to remember while she is gone.

"Alright, I better head out" She pulls away, and ruffles my hair. For once, I'm okay with it. She turns and walks away, and turns the corner. But she turns back, and waves. I laugh and wave back like a cliche girl in a soap opera. Pascao starts waving too, and starts humming sad sappy music. I hum along too, and soon enough Baxter and Frankie are doing it too. Kaede laughs, and keeps waving, then eventually turns back around the corner. I don't worry though. She'll come back.

This book I swear. I've held onto to it all this time, for this!? I nearly got lost looking for it. I left it on a bench in Canada, so I wandered off to go look for it. I almost got lost until Frankie saw me (rest in peace, I cried for her when Day was asleep on the train) and she brought me back. Pascao was freaking out about it.

"It's just a book!" he had yelled.

"A good book" I had replied. He said I could've died. I laughed at that. I've been alone in a strange place before. Just don't approach people. It's worked out so far. Well, I mean, it's never not worked. And even after all that and I get _this_ for an ending. What about Catherine and Jake? What happened to them? It focused so much on Sam (stupid Sam) and Rick that it completely avoided my favorite characters! And I don't even know what happened! It just said that Sam was on a train waving. But to who? And where was Catherine, Rick, and Jake? Like, seriously!? I was so disappointed by this news that I chucked my book across the room. It was like I had taken out all of my anger on that book.

"What did that poor book ever do to you?" Baxter turns his head from the chair he was brooding in. The elector (or someone up there) is having us stay in this awkward and plain room while they run tests on us. I do mine tomorrow. So do Baxter and Pascao. And, Day too I guess because he's been unconscious all day today. I said the word 'day' too many times in that sentence. God. I don't reply, and Baxter doesn't ensue further conversation, so we sit there in silence. I keep staring at where I threw the book, wondering if I should go get it. Suddenly Pascao bursts into the room, shattering the silence.

"Oh hey" I say, walking over to the other side of the room to get my book. I sit back down in one of the uncomfortable waiting chairs and cross my legs in it.

"Hey" he looks upset, and that smile he's attempting isn't fooling me.

"So, what were you doing?" I asked, folding my hands in my lap.

"Um yeah…" he trails off, and sits next to me.

"You know how we couldn't hear that one message from Day? In canada?"

I nod, scared to see where he is going with this.

"Well, they kept those recordings around for security reasons and I listened to them and…" he wrings his hands guiltily.

"And?" I nod, motioning for him to go on.

"Well, on one of those messages it said that… Tess, Kaede died."

I'm alone, sobbing. Everyone went out to go get food. I stayed behind. I wasn't hungry. Here I was, thinking Kade had stayed in the colonies or something. I was sure I would see her again. That last goodbye didn't feel like a _final_ goodbye. We joked and she walked away smiling. So was I. If I had known… I wouldn't have let her go. I would have hugged her longer, or gone with. She seemed capable. I was worried, but I always worry about her. When she went out on that mission to save Day, and when she had to meet June alone. So I tagged along. That was why. And yet, worrying about Kaede before she died didn't help at all. My brother used to say that worrying was a good thing, because then when the worst happens, it doesn't seem so bad. But it is just as bad. If anything, it hurts more. Because I saw it coming. Deep down. I would like to say I had hope in her, but it was only a thin layer of paint to cover up the worrying. Because she hated it when I worried. I keep crying, and before long I'm crying for _everything._ The way I figure it, everyone gets a snap (some, like me, get a few). When your poor heart is bending over backwards so far that is snaps. Whether it's someone dying, nostalgia, getting hurt, or someone leaving, everyone has a thing that sends them over the edge. Everyone. It could be someone with a picture perfect family crying over how their parents stopped paying for everything they did because they were spoiled, or a poor kid crying over how their house was taken away and now their father is dying. But this was a snap for me. I snapped when I was ten, and when I was 14, and now I get another just a year later. I might as well take use of the emptiness of the room, so I keep crying. I keep sobbing and crying and trying to feel better. _But everyone I love is either dead, out of touch, or dying._ I cry for Frankie, for my family, for my past, for Day and his sickness, for Kaede, for _everything_ I curl up in a ball and rock myself back and forth, trying to calm down. First Frankie, now this? Kaede was basically all I had when I first started the patriots. When I was heartbroken, she was there. When I was lonely, she would round everyone up, and we would huddle together on my bed, she even gave me one of her jackets. It was way too big, but I was freezing and didn't have one of my own. So she gave me hers. The soldiers took that jacket. When they arrested us. Along with my backpack. They only gave me back my book this morning. My backpack and Kaede's jacket is there too.

"Hello?"

I leap up from my position. I whip my head around to see who said that. Eden.

"Oh God, hi" I sniff and wipe my eyes on the back of my hand.

"Um, who's there?" He walks in and looks around.

"It's Tess." I reply, my voice cracked and hoarse from sobbing.

"Oh, Daniel's friend" He nods, and starts walking toward me.

"Why are you crying?" He tilts his head, and gives me a sympathetic look. He's like, eleven, he doesn't need to know.

"Depends. Why are you in the hospital?" I look up at him, and wipe my eyes with my hand.

"For Daniel." He replies simply. I nod

"But why are you all up and about?"

"I was going to the bathroom. I didn't want to use Daniel's because I didn't want to mess anything up..."

I smirk at that. What can you mess up in a bathroom? He's hilarious. It's like watching a kitten with it's head in a tissue box.

"And I heard crying. So here I am" He sits next to me.

"Oh okay" I smile, and keep wiping my eyes.

"Why are you crying?" he sounds more serious this time.

"Is it because of Daniel?" I laugh (but it sounds like a dying dolphin) and shake my head.

"No, I learned about that awhile ago" I glance over at him. His eyes are unfocused, and _purple._ But, it's not a creepy purple anymore. Now it's like a pale purple. Like, lilac or something. I like it actually. It makes me self conscious about my average brown eyes. They're not as cool, but eye color is the least of my problems.

"So why?" he steers me back on topic.

"Um" I struggle to find the right words to describe this.

"Someone very close to me died" I finally say, that familiar lump in my throat coming back. I blink back tears, and curl up into a ball again.

"Oh" he says after a while. He scoots closer to me, and stares at me.

"I know how you feel. I lost almost my whole family" He doesn't know it, but he just made me feel worse for crying about my trivial problems. I don't answer, but the tears that I have been building up break free again. And soon I'm crying and feeling terrible about crying over my stupid problems. Eden keeps staring at me as I cry, kind of freaking me out. I wonder if he knows he's staring, because someone said something about him being blind, or basically blind. Then, all of the sudden, Eden hugs me. He lays his chin on my shoulder and squeezes me. I stand there, shocked for a while.

"It's okay" he whispers into me. Then I hug back, and start crying into his shoulder. I keep crying and he starts to rub my back. And we stay like that until I stop crying, and even after. I pull away once my cheeks start becoming red. When I see his face again, I can tell that it's red too. What weird is I don't even know why my face is so warm. I ignore the thought and smile. He smiles back, and I wipe away the rest of my tears. We share a brief moment, of silence and just staring. It's nice. Not doing anything. Just being able to stare and think. Silence is necessary sometime I guess. Suddenly the room starts spinning. And I realize that my eyesight has gotten 10x worse. I knew that my sight had gotten worse, but I assumed it was from reading. Could be, yet now my sight score has plunged ten fold. I rapidly place my hand on the chair, blinking rapidly hoping to wear it off.

"Tess, are you okay?" Eden asks worriedly, and scoots hurriedly over to me. I thought this kid was blind. How did he know something was wrong?

"Don't worry" I smile at him, even though my head is spinning.

"I'll be fine"


End file.
